Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Home is Where the heart is???

Labor day Nicole and i got to spend the whole day together-man talk about a blessing.  I sometimes think we are still dating it's pretty amazing!!!  As we sat outside and talked about life we landed on something we both can't seem to shake.  Oklahoma doesn't feel like home.  We've spent many hours of our life trying to figure out the reason behind this but we can't nail it.  I often times long to be near my family, near the places i have known my whole life, near the people i love.  Nicole said it best, Oklahoma seems like a stepping stone, like something else is around the corner-whatever that means it seemed to resonate.  We have no plans of going anywhere, we aren't looking and are really content with where we are.  This isn't an issue of not being comfortable-because we are, its something deeper that we can't put our finger on.  I've struggled so much with thinking this is related to me, that im not sold out enough, that somehow in someway this is an issue ultimately of my heart desiring to deviate from the life God has called me to...and maybe it is, ultimately we don't know.  We've been blessed beyond our imagination in Oklahoma, from our relationship with each other, to friends and support, to the ministry we are doing...all the pieces fit.  If you can't read into this, everything is right-except we dont feel like this is our home.  Something doesn't click.  I have no solution to this, no great insight for anyone to gain, nothing.  Just wanted to share in the midst of God doing amazing things he is preparing something else-whether that be the lesson of the comittment to the calling, the indescribable need to trust his wisdom or whatever Nicole and i have these conversations.  Any insight?  I'll end with this thought for the night.  As i watched the movie Heat last night, the ongoing theme was-be prepared to walk out in 30 seconds if you feel the heat around the corner.  Obviously in my life i dont rob banks (that i can tell you about) so i dont have cops chasing me around, but i think its something Nicole and I are ready for, to take the step God places in front of us at any time---So Home is Where The Heart Is???  Cause i live really far away then!

1 comment:

Brittany said...

so. this blog. i completely understand and relate to everything you said. mitch and i have experienced this feeling as well. the whole stepping stone thing....yeah, that's what we've been realizing.
we miss you guys like crazy!