Staff Retreat

This past weekend we had our youth staff retreat with the youth staff from all campuses. For me, it was the first time we had gotten everyone together in one place to talk about ministry and where we were heading. It affirmed for me a core belief that i have, as a youth pastor i should be committed to connecting with other youth pastors! We spent the weekend talking about "gauges" a principle derived from andy stanley evaluating your personal life and ministry, it was great to evaluate with guys doing the exact same thing ha!

WhooHooo

So Nicole and I have both had our birthday's recently.  They have been great times, filled with friends and family with some presents thrown in there...typical in many ways.  I've realized though that we don't do birthdays like many people!  There was no hype, no great parties, no intensely planned days, just a time to reflect and thank.  Birthdays to me are really evaluation times.  It's a personal mark every year to set goals and reflect on things that have happened.  Like our anniversary we sat and talked about where we have come as individuals and taken some time to contemplate where we are heading.  This has been a major year in our lives, moving churches, communities, friends and cultures.  It's been a year of loss when it comes to friends and comfort as well.  As an individual i feel like i've come a long way.  This has been a year of struggling to stay involved with ministry, something i have to shake on a daily basis.  I've never been in that seat before and its been a good place to really have to rely on my calling and have an open ear to God.  It's been a year of listening to God...strange i know!!!  It's also been a year of discovering who i am as an individual.  One major theme is what energizes me in ministry, what im really shaped for and what im not!  Hopefully i'll have another year that teaches me as much as i have learned this year....oh yeah...and i didnt die this year!  So, i got that going for me (caddyshack reference for the slow people).

Gangland

I've recently been captivated by a show on the history channel, Gangland!  This isn't a poor attempt to be culturally relevant to the gangster homies that walk in our ministry doors each week, this is me being a super nerd and loving history.  One of the things every gang highlighted thus far has is a simple chain of command.  The head guy has guys, those guys have guys and so on and so forth.  Strange enough it appears to be similar to the way we would structure organization leadership among our churches.  Small groups have a coordinator who is over regional group mentors, who is over coaches of individual groups who are over individual leaders in groups.  Obviously in gang life, they have cooler names for all that jazz...and you have to throw someone dedicated to shooting people in there somewhere (usually a parent takes this role in our churches)!  It's been quite interesting to watch and learn about these gangs.

On the flip side of all that, one theme has been popping up a lot in my life lately.  The word anticipation.  Specifically our awareness and proactive thinking regarding the matter.  Really if we are anticipating something to happen, we get ready for it.  In our organization, the word is flying around with things God is doing.  It really seems as though he is setting the stage for something major to happen and there is truly a genuine anticipation in the air!  You might think that its been relaxing, but it has shown me where i fail as a leader in some areas.

First, my leadership is reactive instead of proactive when it comes to where God is moving.  Often times i see God moving in a direction and I leverage my energy to move with God.  I'm learning as a leader this drains me instead of energizes me.  Often times i find God moving too quickly, or because I'm a step behind i often miss a key component.  This isn't a lack of vision or planning but more specific to following the movement of God.  Some people are lazy last minute people...this is different.

Second, i don't listen to God.  Often times God leads us where he wants us to take others.  He's innovative to the point that as followers we couldn't think up the end product better than him.  However, as a leader i fail to listen.  This should probably be first, because when i don't listen to where God wants to move, i cant be led by him...compounding problem here that ends in a complete lack of ability to take the people of God where he wants them to go. 

Third, i don't anticipate God doing something.  This is a faith thing bottom line.  This isn't not setting the stage for growth in your ministry or even not expecting growth in your ministry.  This is not anticipating that God does something larger than life, this is the minimizing God to a reasonable amount of something!  When i don't anticipate that God will show up in a huge way i miss out.

So, all that to say that Gangs have surprised me with a simple thing...they anticipate growth that's larger than life and put the organizational structure in place for that growth to happen before it ever does.  I've learned that as a leader my lack of listening to God creates a void in my ministry that forces me to be reactive instead of proactive.  You see if i were truly listening to God i would have in place an innovative structure of leadership to move with God when he moves.  My job is to set the stage-have the foresight of anticipation so that when God shows up in a larger than life way his people are ready to be leveraged for his use.  That's faith!!!

Guilt Pt. 2

In my personal life, the nostalgia was heavy this past weekend. As i drove through Missouri i saw the restaraunts where my grandpa took me, hospitals my nephews were born in, shops i went to in college, places i went to school (yeah...elementary...creepy) it was simply outstanding. I've been learning a lot about the things that energize me in ministry, in my personal life and my marriage. One thing i learned this weekend, i want to be home. There is a place that energizes me, gives me creativity, comforts me...its where i grew up, its the hills and trees, its my family...so im in at first glance a bad place. I initially got scared to death when i thought about this, i'm not moving but thats sure what it sounded like in the back of my head!!! Then i realized that in our discomfort is where God stretches us and grows us the most. In our ministries, the discomfort grows us, in our lives, marriages, families we grow most in these times. At the concert i had the privelage of being seated next to 4 wonderfully intoxicated fellows who were nice, just sloppy....mainly with their beverages. I was standing there, dripping from a mix of rum and beer totally uncomfortable. Instead of letting that dominate my experience, i took the chance to marvel at the things around me. If we focus on the discomfort in our lives it leaves us paralyzed. So i'll be working on seeing the things around me that God is doing, the great things and being in a place to learn and grow as much as i can. I'll also be working on visiting home as much as i can.....HA!

Guilt

For some strange reason, when someone departs from blogging they must return with a post reasoning logically on the matter. Extruding excuses from life experience spanning their absent stint...its guilt. Ironically we have in a sense created our own guilt in the matter, opening our lives and thoughts for others to see they become acustom to the matter and instill a sense of obligation, hence creating our self-inflicting guilt. Now im done with that, i must say, funerals, time away, sheer lack of anything extra in my life...they've created this dilema!!! So i'm struggling for a great ministry thought...or even a thought and it's been like that for a bit now. I wish i had a picture of this last weekend. As a kid growing up my favorite baseball team was the St. Louis Cardinals. I went to games all the time with my dad, Ozzie Smith even came to my school before he retired and gave me a bat...they were my team through and through. When they opened their new stadium i was there for the first series, i'm a pretty big fan. I was in St. Louis last weekend, and it was good to be in the town of my team. Sadly i wasn't there for the Cards yet another favorite in my life...Dave Matthews. Since i was in about 8th grade my best friend Bryan and I have been going to Dave Matthews concerts, so we met once again for the show. The experience was great because Dave was the first concert in the new Busch stadium, and i was seated directly in center field!!! During the concert i often found myself turning around and marveling at the view, i was on the field of my baseball team for the first time in my life, it was amazing to see the seats packed all the way to the top level with fans screaming for Dave...but to me it felt like a baseball game! If you cant tell the experience was more than nostalgic for me....more to come!